You are probably stunned.  I certainly was!  Having gone in for a colonoscopy on May 19, my mind was still foggy and dreamy from the anesthesia as the doctor talked to Kim and me.

"Fairly large tumor in rectal area...probably malignant...surgery definitely, perhaps chemotherapy and radiation too...."

I felt like I was in the middle of a bad dream.  Surely I wasn't really hearing what I thought I was hearing!  I was about to celebrate my 58th birthday, and I'd never had anything even remotely serious wrong with me.  I take no medicines, have had no surgeries, and the only hospitalizations I've had were joyous occasions when I brought my four children into the world.

This can't be happening to me!!!

But it is.  

The day before my 58th birthday, May 21, I received the dreaded phone call.  The pathology reports were in...the tumor was definitely malignant.  Diagnosis:  rectal cancer.

Ugh.  UGH!!!  I hate those words!!!

Happy Birthday to me.

More tests in the past couple of weeks.  Rectal ultrasound, CT scan, blood work... I and my family and close friends prayed for a miracle, that God would miraculously remove the nasty bad-boy tumor from my body.  He hasn't chosen to do that YET...but I know He is at work in the entire situation, and because of that certainty I have a real peace.  God's got this...and I'm going to let Him handle it!

Yesterday, we met with my team of oncologists...some of the best in their field and top-notch in every way.  They assure me that it is treatable and even curable, and that the odds are heavily in my favor for a complete recovery.  But it's going to be a long, drawn-out ordeal.  A full-spectrum chemotherapy treatment, followed by radiation, perhaps more chemo, then surgery to remove the tumor.

The doctor says to count on about 40 weeks from beginning to end.  Forty weeks...the same amount of time it takes to grow and deliver a beautiful baby...only for me, this time the 40 weeks is opposite, shrinking and killing the tumor and then removing the nasty thing from my body.

(If you are into such things, like I am, and you don't mind looking up my rectum as so many others have enjoyed doing these past few weeks, I will post a couple of photos of the Bad Boy at the very end of this post...if such things make you squeamish, you can just not scroll down to the very end.)

Chemo begins June 12.  The doctors were gracious enough to tailor my treatment schedule in such a way that I'll still be able to go on our much-anticipated Alaska vacation in July, assuming I feel like going.  That was a HUGE concern of mine, and I am so grateful that we can still go.  

As far as this blog goes, it'll be filled with everything that God has put into my life...many, many blessings!  I refuse to let cancer be my focus...it's just a part of my life for the next several months that I'll need to deal with.  From time to time, I'll be posting updates on my progress, but mostly I'll be posting photos of my grandchildren and my not-quite-country life that I love so much!

I come from a family of strong people, survivors, and I feel sure I'll be looking back at this post a year from now and seeing some wonderful things that have come through this journey on which we're embarking.  Right now, I don't see them...but God promises good things in store for those who love Him, and I do SO LOVE HIM!!!

Life is too short and precious to waste!  So no tears for me, only positive thoughts and prayers.  I hate being in the limelight, especially for something like this.  And I certainly want...

...no pity parties!

(Here's your cue to close the window, if you aren't into seeing yucky stuff...I personally find medical stuff like this fascinating, which is why I share it with you...)